Wednesday, February 24, 2010

how to change minds

http://changingminds.org/techniques/conversation/conversation.htm

Conversation techniques

Opening the conversation

How do you open the persuasive conversation? The first few seconds are terribly critical and the following interaction contains many moments of truth. Here's a few pointers on how to open positively.

Their Name

In conversation, the name of the other person is one of the most important things to remember and use. It is easy to get this wrong, so this section gives you a number of things you can do and methods you can use.

Building rapport

'Rapport' is 'a feeling of sympathetic understanding', where two people feel a bond between one another, such that they will more easily trust one another.

Reflecting

The term 'reflecting' can be interpreted in two ways: sitting back and thinking or bouncing back to the other person what they have communicated to you. This section is about the latter.

When you reflect back to the other person what they have said, it not only makes sure that you have understood, it also shows your interest in the other person and helps to build a relationship with them.

In psychoanalysis, identity is first formed in the mirror phase, where we first see an image of ourselves. This can be the beginning of a life-long process of fascination with our own selves and is at the root of narcissism. Reflecting back to the other person something of themselves is thus a powerful process.

Testing understanding

You can use reflection to test your understanding of what the other person has said. This also will act to build rapport with the other person.

Building

A constructive way of reflecting what a person has said back to them is do add to what they have said in some way. This helps both testing understanding and also building rapport. If you build something between you, you will both feel a sense of ownership of it and hence will be more ready to share more.

Creating rapport

Reflecting what a person says to you back to them also builds rapport, creating a bond between you both. Reflecting can be used primarily for this purpose. It should always be kept in mind in any case, as poor reflection (or no reflection) can have the opposite effect.

Non-verbal reflecting

You can also reflect non-verbal 'body language' back to the other person, repeating what they do, rather than what they say.

And...

Reflecting does not always work as intended and you need to be vigilant to ensure you do not fall into any of the traps.

And here's some other thinking about feedback...


Interrupting

Interrupting the the other person is one of the key skills of conversation, particularly where you want to change the other person's mind.

Interruption techniques

There are a number of interruption techniques you can use to 'grab the baton', taking control of the conversation. Here are some of the common methods available:

Sustaining the conversation

It is one thing to opening a conversation, and it is another to keep it going. Here are a number of suggestions for ways to keep things interesting and lively such that the other person does not want to leave!

Specific techniques

Here are some specific techniques that you can use to keep the conversation going.

Notes and tips

Here are a few additional thoughts to keep in mind when you are sustaining a conversation.

Also remember that the most powerful way of keeping a conversation going is simply to ask questions that the other person is interested in answering, and then doing a great deal of listening.

Closing the conversation

If some people find it difficult to start a conversation and others find problems keeping it going, it can also be difficult to close a conversation so you can either move to another topic or move away to talk with someone else.

Closing down a conversation can also seem like bad manners. To interrupt and walk away from somebody might make you wonder if they will think badly of you for this terrible social act. In practice, if you do it well, you will only leave them with a warm glow.

You can also ease the closing of a conversation by only joining groups of people, rather than going up to individuals standing alone. This makes it easier to excuse yourself and move on.

When others try to close

A useful additional note is to watch for these methods being used by other people. When they are trying to close the conversation you can gain social credit by noticing this and gracefully letting them go.

I can see you need to leave. Go on -- I'm just fine.

If it is important for you to continue the conversation (for example if you are selling something), then other people trying to close down can be used in two ways. First, it is a signal to you that you are probably not getting through to them, and you should the perhaps change your tactics. You can also use the fact they they want to leave as a lever, letting them go only when you get what you want from them. Their desperation may well let you get what you want with a simple request. Children use this when they know their parents are worn down and trying to get some peace.

Can I go to see Janak tonight, please.


http://changingminds.org/techniques/conversation/conversation.htm

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Got Pot?

Pol Pot biography

A brief biography of Pol Pot and the devastation he brought to Cambodia.


Pol Pot, who become responsible for the deaths of over two million of his own people, was born Saloth Sar in a small Cambodian village about 140 kilometers north of Phnom Penh. His date of birth is uncertain although French records give it as May 25, 1928. At age six he went to live with his brother at the Royal household in Phnom Penh. Here he learned Buddhist precepts and discipline. At age eight he went to a Catholic primary school, where he remained for six years. It was here that he picked up the basics of Western culture, as well as the French language.

In 1949, Pol Pot went to study in Paris on a government scholarship. It was here that he got his introduction to Communism, joining the French Communist Party. After four years of exposure to Stalinist Communism he returned to Cambodia in 1953. Within a month he had joined the Communist resistance, becoming a member of the Indochina Communist Party (IHC) which was dominated by the Viet Minh.

The 1954 Cambodian elections saw the Communists throw in support with the Democrats. The Democrats were soundly defeated, however, by the incumbent Government of Prince Sihanouk who now held absolute power. Pol Pot now took up a post as a teacher in a private college. He also spent his time recruiting the educated classes to the Communist cause. The Government, however, began a Communist crackdown and Pol Pot was forced to flee to the Jungles near the Vietnam border to avoid arrest. For the next seven years he would spend his time in the Cambodian jungle hiding from the police.

Over the ensuing years the communists bided their time as they built up their strength for a take-over attempt. They were bolstered by the North Vietnamese who were waging warfare against the Cambodian Government. A major Vietnamese victory in 1971 allowed the Communists to take control of certain areas of the country. In 1973 the communists launched a major attack on the Government but this was halted by American bombing. A final Communist assault began on January 1, 1975. This time they were victorious. On April 17, Communist forces entered Phnom Penh. Within 24 hours they had ordered the entire city evacuated. This process was repeated in other cities resulting in more than 2 million Cambodians being forced out of their homes. Many of them starved to death.

Pol Pot was now Prime Minister of Cambodia, which he promptly renamed Kampuchea. In August, 1976 he unveiled his Four Year Plan, which detailed the collectivisation of agriculture, the nationalization of industry and the financing of the economy through increased agricultural exports. This plan caused untold misery to the nation with many thousands dying in the paddy fields. Crops needed to feed the population were marked for export. Malnutrition was rampant, made worse by the Communist insistence on traditional Cambodian medicine. Pol Pot also started the infamous S-21 interrogation center where more than 20,000 men, women and children were tortured to death.

Throughout 1976 and ’77 skirmishes with Vietnam continued. In December 1977 The Vietnamese made real inroads in Kampuchea. Pol Pot, however, held on for another year. By January, 1979 the Vietnamese forces had actually reached Phnom Penh. The Kampuchean Government fled by train while Pol Pot was taken by helicopter to Thailand. His last public appearance was an interview in December 1979. For the next 19 years he remained in exile in the Thai jungle. Pol Pot died in 1998.

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what's in a name . . . . ?

The Etymology of Hate

Social Issues/ Spring 2001

(Instructor's note 8/18/05: a surprising number of you have e-mailed me about perceived glaring inaccuracies of the definitions provided. "Way back" when The Cultural Lexicon was first employed (Spring 2001), students were just beginning to employ the internet to do research. The purpose of this exercise was also for them to determine the legitimacy of certain sites for deriving valid sources of information. During classroom discussions, we frequently analyzed the etymology of such words as "Picnic" and learned how to tease out the differences between the historical development of such terms compared to urban legend. When reading these definitions, one should not consider this to be a reliable source of genuine, factual information but view this more as an insight into an experiential exercise to gain a sense of how words become part of a culture.

The definitions listed arose from class discussions and annotated bibliographies submitted by you. References are listed whenever possible.

-A-

ANTI-SEMITISM a prejudice or discrimination against Jews, based on negative perceptions of their religious beliefs or on negative group stereotypes. Anti-Semitism can also be a form of racism, as when Nazis and others consider Jews an inferior “race”.

-B-

-C-

CRACKER:

  1. A poor, white person in some parts of the southern United States who, perhaps, could only afford to eat crackers.
  2. The most common explanation for the origin of this phrase is that it is from corncracker, or someone who distills corn whiskey (cracking corn is to crush it into a mash for distillation). The song lyric "Jimmy Crack Corn" is a reference to this. In the song a slave sings about his master got drunk, fell, hit his head, and died. And the slave "don't care." The usage, however, is probably not the origin of the term cracker.
  3. More likely is that it is from an early sense of crack meaning to boast. This sense dates to the 16th century. A 1766 quote in the OEO2 gives the origin of cracker as boastful. (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)
  4. a small firework
  5. a slang term used by 19th century Georgian slaves to refer to the cracking of the slavemaster's whip.
  6. a white person (Dictionary of Afro-American Slang by Clarence Major)

-D-

DAMN: Middle English (dampnen), from Old French (dampner), from Latin (damnare), from damum damage, loss, fine (13th Century). Expression of annoyance, disgust or surprise; to condemn to a punishment; to bring ruin on (Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 2001)

-E-

-F-

FAGGOT:

  1. Slang term for an effeminate, homosexual male.
  2. A bundle of sticks. During the European Inquisition in the 14th century, witches were burned at the stake. When the bundles of sticks diminished, Homosexuals males were thrown on the fire to keep it burning.
  3. Derived from the 16th century Italian word fa(n)gotto meaning a disagreeable woman
  4. Possibly dervived from the Yiddish word, fagele, meaning little bird.
  5. Burden or baggage

FUCK: originally recorded in German as early as the 12th century from "ficken" (to strike). First recorded in English in the 15th century. Its first occurrence; in a poem entitled, "Fenflyys" written sometime before 1500 in code, illustrating the unacceptability of the word even then. It satirized the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England. Once decoded, the first line of the poem reads:"They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Fly (a town near Cambridge)."

  1. to have sexual intercourse with
  2. to victimize
  3. used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal
  4. (urban legend): For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was an upshot of Victorian England's need for euphemisms. When porstitutes were arrested the good constables, in the interest of expediency, began entering F.U.C.K. in their police blotters.
-G-

-H-

HOMOPHOBIA: a prejudice against homosexuals (gays and lesbians) which can lead to discrimination and violence against homosexuals or people perceived as homosexual.

-I-

-J-

JACKASS:

  1. A donkey. Mississippi farmer Dan Grogen was credited with using this term in 1939
  2. an insult (Webster's Dictionary, 1992).
-K-

KIKE:

  1. from the Yiddish kikel~ a circle; the mark used by some illiterate Jewish immigrants rather than a cross-when signing papers at Ellis Island
  2. from kieken: to peep and linked to Jewsih American clothes manufacturers who 'peeped' at smarter European fashions and produced mass-market knockoffs, popular among their poor customers (Words Apart:The Language of Prejudice by Jonathon Green)
  3. vulgarity referring to a Jewish person originally coined by the German Jews to use against Russian Jews. It comes from the "k" sound at the end of many Russian Jewish names such as Lewinsky or Lencoff. (from Etymologically Speaking by Steven Friedman)
-L-

-M-

-N-

NIGGER: The obsolete spelling "niger" dates back to 1574 dervied from the Latin word meaning black

  1. comes from the Latin root for black. The word was used in both England and America around the 17th century. Around 1825, abolitionists and blacks began feeling the word was hurtful to them. After the Civil War, the word "nigger" became the most commonly used term to describe the blacks. Even though the word was at first not meant to offend, such powerful white men as George Conrad continually used it during public speaking and argued that the word was not meant to be offensive.
  2. Phonetic spelling of the white southern pronunciation of "Negro".
  3. Term used by African captives to describe themselves, in many cases without attaching a stigma to the word.
-O-

-P-

PICNIC:

  1. Internet lore (and perhaps folklore prior to the internet) has the origin of this word as lynching party for blacks in the American South, originally deriving from the phrase pick an nigger. This is absolutely incorrect. The word's origins have no racial overtones whatsoever. In actuality, it derives from the French pique-nique meaning the same thing as it does in English-an outing that includes food. Pique is either a reference to a leisurely style of eating ("as in pick at your food") or its reference to selective delicacies chosen for the outing. Nique is a nonsense syllable chosen to rhyme. The word appears in English as early as 1748 in reference to picnics in Germany. The word did not gain widespread use in Britain until Britain until c.1800.
  2. French word, pique-nique, which first appeared at the end of the seventeenth century. It referred to a fashionable type of social entertainment in which each person who attended brought a share of food.
-Q-

-R-

RACISM: a prejudice or discrimination based on the belief that race is the primary factor determining human traits and abilities. Racism holds that genetic, or inherited, differences produce the inherent superiority or inferiority of one race to another.

RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY: a prejudice or discrimination against all members of a particular religious group based on negative perceptions of their religious beliefs and practices or on negative group stereotypes.

-S-

SEXISM: a prejudice or discrimination based on gender

SPIC:

  1. coined around the beginning of the 20th century, referring to Spaniards, Italians, Mexicans, Filipinos, Pacific Islanders and Latin Americans and Mediterraneans in general; appears to come from the phrase "no spicka da English"; additional theories link it to spaghetti, the stereotypical Italian food.
  2. a person from Puerto Rico, Mexico, and Spain. Derogatory [US]
  3. of Spain and its languages, also spelled "Spick"
-T-

-U-

-V-

-W-

WHORE: to associate or have sexual relations with prosititutes, to accept payment in exchange for sexual relations. The common Germanic word horaz had the underlying meaning of "one who desires" and/or "adulterer". (American Heritage Dictionary)

WOP:

  1. comes from the word "guapo" (Spanish)/ "guappo" (Italian) meaning handsome. The word came to mean handsome scoundrel
-X-

-Y-

-Z-

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which one did Pete have on his Benz?

obama Bumper Stickers
See results for obama in the Obama Nicknames category or obama in the Democrats category









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